The Long, Dark Run of the Soul

In a week and a half,  I am planning to run the JFK50 Mile ultramarathon.

I am frightened–not of the running, not of the distance, not of the pain–sure, a little of the possibility of injury to be certain–but mostly of the unknown, namely, where it will take me internally in that uncharted territory of mind. Why fear that, you say? Isn’t long-distance running good at taking the mind to wonderfully positive places, to euphoric states? Often it is, perhaps, at least in my experience.

When I put the mileage and details into my running log, the chart showed just how much farther it is than most of my runs–even the 30 milers. It is daunting. I have a profound respect for the distance. Like with sound, where volume, measured in decibels, increases exponentially, the level of difficulty of a long run increases with the distance exponentially.  A fifty-mile run is not just a little less…